Review on Spectre

Movie: Spectre Aka 007 aka the Fifty-Millionth Time Bond Faced his Demons, Bedded the Girl, and Saved the World.

Let's face it. Bond has a sexually transmitted disease by now, or even a few. I couldn't help but go into the movie thinking that Bond is a bit of an outdated concept. I had a feeling the movie was going to be a bit formulaic, and I wasn't wrong.

Let's face it though, we're all going to keep seeing Bond movies, no matter how misogynistic the character creator must be and no matter how routine his rebellious world-saving antics get. Because men want to be Bond, women want to do Bond. It's inbred. It's classic by now.

I, for one, certainly appreciate me some Daniel Craig. Even as he gets older with wrinkles and salt and pepper hair, he keeps his ass top notch. His clothing is on fleek, His swag is enviable.

But Bond uses women like Kleenex. At one point, he tried to show the French woman how to use a gun, against her protests. It was assumed she didn't know how. It was a little satisfying for her to feed him some crow with some showy gun moves. Moneypenny continues to be on the sidelines, being of the most use over the phone and pushing pencils. I itch for a Jane Bond in this universe somewhere.

He also has this blatant disregard for nice cars or authority. Why does this guy still have a job? Surely, another double '0' could be skilled enough to replace him. Hell, 009 was mentioned by name several times, and I was left curious as to what the classical music-loving agent was up to while Bond stole the Astin Martin that was meant for him.

But I digress.

Let's talk about Christoph Waltz and why the heck didn't they use him as a Bond villain sooner? Even as they cast him here, he was sorely underused. I craved more screen time with him, especially with that grand make-up job they did where they split his eye. The MUA got paid fo sho.

It was obvious that the money here went to blowing up a lot of vehicles, planes, helicopters and buildings, as well as gorgeous cinematography and flawless diamond earrings on the blonde French girl's ears. (I keep calling her the French girl and I feel like I'm being insulting to her. I had to look up her name. It's Lea Seydoux.)

In short, It's a Bond movie, never truly disappoints, but we were so spoiled with Casino Royale's high bar that it's tough to be satisfied for the same old, same old. But the villian is chilling, the girls are beautiful, the shots are breathtaking, and the intro with Sam Smith's song resonates through the film in the best, most haunting way.

Bottom line: Worth a see.

B-